It’s the holidays! A time where we start to settle from all the challenges of the past year, move into our cozy winter selves, and reflect before the new year approaches.
So I wanted to highlight REFLECTION to get the new year pre-start strong.
Can you reflect upon your life with truth?
I’ve been having great conversations with a variety of people in my life and I noticed that the difference between the people who move forward versus the people who feel stagnate is the ability to REFLECT versus getting stuck in RUMINATION or AVOIDANCE.
“Rumination is a sign of depression.” -Michelle Pan (Wellness coach/Body worker)
We all have gotten stuck in rumination, so we know what this can feel like. So no I'm not saying you're depressed, but ruminating can lead us down a dark path and very frustrating cycles. Guilt or shame over things that didn’t quite work out repeat over ‘n’ over ‘n’ over again, again, again… UGH! STOP!
Then we try to “fake it til we make it.” We repeat motivational quotes that speak to us but they don’t quite resonate so we desperately hope the coin will flip if we keep repeating it. And sometimes we skip trying at all and just avoid the situation entirely by distracting ourselves which is basically piling on more shit on top of more shit that we’ll have to deal with eventually.
Ughhh, it’s sooo exhausting. Trust me, I know! I’ve been there! The important thing is developing an understanding of truth in this NOW MOMENT, and to start redirecting the energy to find the solution.
Take a deep breath. Seriously, do it now!
Inhale on a 4 count… 4 - 3 - 2 - 1
Exhale on a 4 count… 4 - 3 -2 - 1
Repeat. One more time, please…
You’re welcome… ;)
When it comes to REFLECTING versus Ruminating or Avoiding it’s about following a path of questions & statements like these...
WHAT WAS MY EXPERIENCE?
Whether my experience was good or bad. Have an understanding of the lesson. The lesson is the solution. The emotions around it are NOT. Emotions are beautiful but they are not always truthful to you in the NOW MOMENT because they are based on past experiences and past habitual patterns. If we want to build a new response we must let go of those patterns to...
BUILD A NEW TRUTH!
CAN I RECOGNIZE MY PATTERNS?
The moment is now gone in the past so ruminating over the negative feeling or the why it happened doesn’t help the situation. And avoidance, well that just doesn’t do shit. Easier said than done but not as hard as you think once you put in the practice. To be honest, I used to really suck at this! I still procrastinate, but the difference now is that I catch myself doing the pattern I want to get rid of faster.
We all self-sabotage, the gold is when we catch it so we can burn the old pattern then turn it around.
CAN I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN MY THOUGHTS?
Everything in life is a tool.
Example… Social media is a tool, not the cause of someone feeling negatively about themselves, which I keep hearing about. Have I felt like I’ve compared myself negatively to others on social media? Unfortunately, yes. But have I also met some of my best friends and connect to humans all across the globe to deliver my loving message on social media? Yes, yes, YES! How we DECIDE to use tools is on us, NOT the tool.
Look at it without judgement. Recognize that our immediately reactive responses are just our internal security alarms that just may be having an over sensitive moment, and it might be time to reset the security system. This is not good or bad… Think of it as a refresher.
Change can feel worst than pain because our inner will is stronger than anything else. So own your body’s intelligence! It doesn’t take a motivational guru to know that change is beautiful, tough growth... But to choose habitual pain because “you’re use to it” is stubbornness and avoidance at play. Take responsibility in your thoughts. Your knee-jerk reaction to something stems from your habitual patterns. Not your present truth.
HOW DO I ACCESS MY TRUTH?
We can best access a truthful answer when we are in a place of peace, calm, & groundedness. And we can absorb the calm physically to help us flow into it mentally and emotionally.
Ways to access peace, calm, groundedness:
Breathwork. All styles work. The simplest form I recommend is breathing softly, quietly, inhaling/exhaling through the nose, full to empty.
Movement/Exercise - This is an important one! The body gets stiff and blocked in places when we emotionally feel stuck. This is why I love to flow daily. Move the breath, unwind the muscles, oxygenate the blood, push all the blocked energy to come into a state of flow.
Sharing time with friends who love you and accept you. If you don’t have accepting people in your life you can find communities by searching online. The internet and social media can be great tools for this.
Getting enough rest.
Whole food diet.
Constantly learning and growing daily.
Giving love back to others.
And finally, just trust that NOTHING IN LIFE IS PERMANENT, so don’t take everything so seriously, like SERIOUSLY! ;)
“You wouldn’t be seeking IT if IT didn’t exist.” -Eric Walsh
Once we are in that space of calm, grounded, non-judgement we can then access our truths that resonate with us deeply, and that will create the projection of our growth.
Thanks for reading my thoughts, and wishing you all the best in the new year and new phases of your life!
Love, hugs, & high-5’s!
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